Are you watering your seeds? Living a life of purpose and reality checking expectations

A new year can often bring a weight of expectation with it. Many of us are in the habit of setting resolutions and goals for the year ahead. Many of us view the dawning of a new year as a fresh start, a blank canvas, and a time to change things up.

This brings expectation, and this can be a problem. 

Expectations are not always helpful or supportive of what we truly need. Expectations creep into our subconscious thoughts through belief systems we have developed throughout our lives. Expectations can create additional stress within our nervous systems and within our bodies, increasing inflammation, toxicity and exacerbating mental health and physical health symptoms.

So, let’s take a moment to reality check any expectations we have bought into with the coming of this new year that is 2021 - have you set resolutions or goals? Have you already felt a sense of failure or stress trying to live up to them? Have you set so many you feel overwhelmed? So we can set ourselves up to experience a time of truthful living, freedom, ease and wellbeing we need to reality check resolutions and goals, thus reality checking our expectations. Are they serving you or are you open to a simpler and sustainable way of achieving growth and fulfillment?

Let’s start with practicing a sense of acceptance that life is indeed continually happening dependent of our individual circumstances, and more importantly accepting that it is happening for us and not to us. Do we keep swimming against the tide trying to control where we think we need to be, or do we trust, surrender and let go allowing the tide to carry us where we need to be? 

Through my time listening, observing and engaging with many people every day, I have noticed that most people want to rid themselves of the challenges, feelings and experiences of 2020. Many people expect that once the universe ticked over to 2021 that 2020 and all its hardship was gone. Life unfolds and things happen, and this may be an obvious statement however how many times have we tried to control a situation or change an outcome? Accepting the reality that we can’t change, or control life is what will bring us the most freedom. Living from this place of awareness and acceptance of what is, is ultimately what will support us to live a life of ease, flow and presence. 

We are exactly where we are meant to be. We can’t change the past or control the future. We can, however, choose how we show up in each moment. We can’t change 2020 or control 2021. We can, however, work towards living intentional and fulfilling lives through making the choices that align with our truth selves, forgiving ourselves when we react from a limiting belief system, being self-compassionate as we navigate the challenges of humanity and being human in this time of life, and slowing down our lives; awareness of ourselves breathing, shifting to a mindset of gratitude, creating space for stillness and nurturing ourselves, nature and all other beings. 

This place we are at in this moment in time may not match up with where we expected ourselves to be, so reality check that. Where did our expectation come from? Our subconscious selves are full of belief systems, ideas and expectations. Once we are aware of this, we have the choice of which belief systems we keep and which ones we give back. We are not the same people we were yesterday, nor are we expected to be. We are evolving and growing, through all the conscious and subconscious experiences we have every moment.

We are becoming. We become through being. 

Being here on earth. 

Being in our bodies.

Being in stillness.

Being in our selves.

Being in our communities.

Being in our truth. 

Rather than setting resolutions and rigid goals for the new year, how would it be to simply spend this time to be in a state of reflection?

Reflection of how you feel, with no judgement.

Reflection of what you are thinking, with no judgement.

Reflection of what makes you feel good, with no judgement.

Reflection of what you dislike, with no judgement.

Reflection of your relationships, with no judgement.

Reflection of your health, with no judgment. 

Reflection of your lifestyle, with no judgment. 

Reflection of your behaviours, with no judgment. 

You are exactly where you are meant to be. I am exactly where I am meant to be. 

Bringing our awareness to ourselves as we move through the experiences of life, using the tool of self-reflection, is key to self-discovery. Who am I? Why am I here? 

Getting to know ourselves. 

Pausing and reflecting. 

Noticing what makes us feel good and grounded, and doing more of that.

Understanding the difference between resolutions and reflections. 

Resolutions are ineffective, and we are really not good at fulfilling resolutions. Resolutions are focused on outcomes, and they are simplistic ideas that speak to outcomes (i.e. I want to lose 10kg, I want to eat healthier etc etc). Resolutions tend to birth from surface level things we don’t like about ourselves and our lives, things we want to change. Outcomes don’t magically happen just because we resolve to take certain actions. How many resolutions have we set in our lifetime that we don’t fulfill? How does that make you feel? If the failure of fulfilling resolutions creates additional stress and inflammation in our bodies thus exacerbating mental health and physical health symptoms, then why do we keep doing them? We can change our unconscious habitual ways of doing things, once we are aware, we can change/evolve/grow/adapt. 

Reflections are effective, and reflection with curiosity and non-judgement will support us with gaining insight into our desires. Desire is the seed of all thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Through reflection, we will have the opportunity to explore our desires; what our souls really want and need. We then have the opportunity to make intention choices and actions, ones that align with our souls’ desires. We can create intentional and conscious lives, where we live from this place of awareness and truth, thus reducing stress and inflammation in our bodies, thus supporting our mental health and physical health and wellbeing. Desires precede all conscious thoughts, feelings and behaviours. We need to water our seeds of desire so we can truly get to know ourselves and what we want and need.

What lessons are you tired of learning? Reflect on this. 

Can you make friends with change?

How would your life be if you allowed your unique humanness?

Live with purpose, stay open to outcomes, and know that when we live aligned with our truth that we are contributing to the greater good of the world and the collective healing of humanity. 

We truly are all in this together.