The occupation of social media
There’s no getting past the fact that social media has transformed humanity over the past decade and continues to alter and evolve the manner in which we connect with each other and ourselves on a daily basis.
Do you ever wonder what you used to do without social media to look at and engage with?
Do you experience lost time and dissociate from your self when you scroll on your phone?
Do you often feel triggered or lonely as you look at what other people share online?
Do you wish you didn’t have to use it but feel stuck as this is the main way people engage with each other now?
Do you feel anxious or unsettled when you are not near your phone checking for social media feed updates?
Do you check the amount of daily usage time you spend on social media?
Do you see social media as an activity of daily living; as an occupation that occupies so much of our time? …or have you not yet thought about what it actually means to you?
Do you notice how it makes you feel when you use it? Connected? Worthless? Happy? Isolated? Grateful? Depressed? Confused?
It was through deep reflection and time away from social media, that I realised just how much I disliked it. Yes, I agree that it is an inevitable part of our future and that there’s really no getting around it now, however for me it just didn’t feel right using it anymore the way I had unconsciously been using it for many years. I have learnt through a lot of embodiment, healing and personal growth work over the past few years, that when things don’t feel right to me, I need to pay very close attention to what that feeling is telling me, as my body never lies. It had created such a sense of urgency and disconnect for me, and over time I numbed out when I used it and shut-down how it truly made me feel as I was ashamed and confused to be feeling that way. I was overstimulated by the noise of social media, it was so constant, it never stopped, it was impossible to keep up with, it had me hooked but not in an enjoyable way. It concerned me that I felt this way and felt so lost about how to manage it’s speed, as an adult coming in to it, (I went through adolescence when a dial up modem and MSN was it), as I was acutely aware of how many young children and youth are growing up with it as their reality, a lot without any real guidance or awareness of what it truly means to them and how to use it to support their lives and not destroy them.
Social media was getting in the way of my real life. It was making me feel awful and unsettled. I was anxious. I felt worthless after using it. I noticed I felt so agitated about it as I felt deeply stuck with using it yet noticed I had never really known how to use it in a way that felt right to me.
I learnt I was not the only person noticing this and experiencing this. Yet how on earth was I going to manage distancing myself from using it. All sorts of thoughts consumed me as I realised something had to change. I woke up to my reality and realised that using it was getting in the way of me living my life the way I truly wanted to live it. For me, it didn’t align with me anymore…and on reflection I wonder if it ever really did.
I started with unfollowing all the pages, groups and people who I noticed left me feeling yuck.
I then went from deleting it to reinstating it, from spending hours scrolling and feeling lonely to connecting with amazing humans on it, from letting go of old friendships and deleting many people online to remaining connected with loved ones and supporting loved ones businesses who used social media for marketing and networking, to feeling triggered looking at all the noise, filters and endless untruths that are posted online to learning so much through occupational therapy and related professional groups, to believing I had to use every social media platform to market my business to finding genuine soul connections online that evolved into real friendships.
Endless paradoxes. Endless confusion.
I was so confused for a long time. Until I wasn’t anymore. I practiced noticing my thoughts and feelings about social media, I allowed space for them, I got clear on my values, I listened to my body as I used social media and as I didn’t use social media, I consciously chose how I showed up and what I spent my time doing, and I noticed the very real impact all this concious work had on my energy.
I learnt that media use without clear intentions and firm boundaries is no good for mental health.
The game changer for me was creating very clear intentions and boundaries with how I use it within my life. I reframed it, and approached it just like any other activity, task or practice I do within my daily life. So instead of unconsciously scrolling through it any moment I got and posting snap shots and personal details of my life without really thinking about why I was even doing that, I WOKE UP to the reality of social media and how draining and damaging it can be to real life wellbeing and real life connections with real life people.
- I listened to my gut feelings and allowed space for my intuition about social media
- I turned off all notifications on my phone, no more vibrations and dings
- I spent time offline, many months in fact
- I deleted my business Facebook page and snapchat
- I deleted my personal Instagram page for a year, then reinstated it, then firmly deleted it for good
- I deleted Facebook and Instagram apps off my phone
- I cleaned up my personal Facebook page, deleting many past posts, followers and images
- I chose to keep Facebook (for now) for the connection opportunities it does provide me with family, friends and other health professionals
- I set up a business Instagram account only, and only recently started posting some updates on it once I was firmly clear with how I felt about social media and how I wanted to use it within my life; I decided to do this as an opportunity to connect with other health professionals and as a way to support businesses of people I love as I honour the truth that many businesses do rely on social media for marketing and growth
- I accepted that I was going to miss updates, information and posts from friends and family members who posted them online, and that catching up through text, email or calls would not cover everything I missed that they posted yet would be a way of remaining in touch outside of face to face catch ups
- I chose to only check social media briefly at certain times of the week using my laptop instead of my phone
- I accepted that I didn’t need to know what everyone else was doing, that the false sense of urgency and needing to keep updated on it all was not my truth at all
- I chose to only post something if it truly aligned with me and felt right, no posting for postings sake, I refer to this ‘conscious posting’
- I noticed and accepted that I didn’t enjoy creating social media content and posts, and that this role was not part of my purpose at this time
- I started regularly utilising ‘do not disturb’ and ‘aeroplane’ mode on my phone, and always keep it on silent now
- I started leaving my phone in other rooms, and not carrying it with me at all times as I accepted that I didn’t need to ‘be on call’ for anyone or anything as life never stops happening and things can truly wait, I didn’t want my present moments to keep getting disrupted
- I accepted that completely stopping using social media wasn’t an option, as it would limit many aspects of my life and business too as social media is truly integrated into all things now
A great weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt liberated. I felt empowered.
Nothing feels better than intentional living does.
Taking time to reflect on how you feel when you use social media is important, then you will know what steps you need to take to align your social media use with what you truly need. Does it reduce feelings of isolation and self-esteem or increase them? Does it connect you with wonderful groups and people or are you following groups and people who make you feel worthless and lonely? Check-in with yourself regularly as you engage with social media, and regularly and intentionally curate who you follow and engage with. There is a growing body of research about social media use and poor mental health, particularly with youth and young adults who are considered a highly vulnerable demographic. However, there is also so much anecdotal evidence linking the positive impacts of social media use with support and connection for people. The never-ending paradox of social media. I have learnt that the most important way to approach social media and the endless paradoxes, is to do what feels right for you within the context of your unique lived experience. I am sharing my experience as many of my clients have been unsure how to navigate the use of social media within their lives and have found that they have not known who to talk to about this. Let’s share our social media stories with each other more, let’s connect over the ways we connect.
Seeking help and support is so important if you are noticing depression, anxiety, phone and social media addiction and experiences of suicidal thoughts or ideation, worthlessness or isolation. Creating intentional social media use, putting together routines within your days and weeks, and engaging with activities outside the realm of social media is a great starting point.
What does social media mean to you?
Do you experience anxiousness and a sense of urgency/missing out if you don’t check your social media feeds for a few hours?
Have you consciously reflected on why you began using social media initially?
Do you love the connection and support you have found on social media?
How does your current social media engagement make you feel?
Do you like using social media?
Have you thought about why you use social media the way you do?
Do you view social media as one activity within your daily routine or is it entangled within everything you do/think/feel?
Can you choose to consciously curate a balance of social media use and real life living that aligns with your values, feels right to you and supports your mental health and overall wellbeing?
Perhaps you already have it all balanced in your own unique way? I’d love to hear your social media story.